Multi-talented comedian Eric Haines provides a fast-paced and interactive show full of  stand-up comedy, music, juggling, unicycling and variety acts. References to the business will be cleverly worked into the routines for corporate events. *(Note: the word "cleverly" is debatable.)

“You da bomb” -Weird Al Yankovic 

“Engaging, honest and heartfelt– you will love him.” -Louie Anderson 

Las Vegas Comedy Festival review:

“Eric... well... I don't know what the hell he did. He joked, he sang, he jumped around... I was exhausted just watching him. But the audience thought he was hysterical - and that means he did his job, and exceptionally well, if the laughs were any indicator.” -Ken Pringle,

Eric Haines, comedian
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Video:  Unicycle routine from the Circus Of Dreams



Dear Eric,              

What can I say?  Your comedy/entertainment show was absolutely amazing.  I have been going to comedy shows for over 40 years and I have seen some of the best but your show was a "one of a kind" experience.  You definitely made our Employee Appreciation Christmas Party a booming success!!  Nearly all the 105 people in the audience came up to me and made complimentary remarks.  Here are just some of the comments I heard after your hilarious show:  "Best comedy show I have ever seen, period!"   "I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt!"   "You have got to bring this guy back. He is s-o-o-o funny!"   "This guy is crazy… where did you find him?  What a riot!"
"Carrot Top on steroids… with singing, dancing and juggling thrown in!"

What was so refreshing…. is that you did it all without using any profanity.  My eight year old daughter could have attended the show and she would have laughed just as hard.  In today's Comedy World where so many comics stoop to using four-letter words, every fourth word just to get a laugh, it is fantastic to see someone who works so hard to make us laugh without the profanity. I call the other guys, "lazy comics" because they can't write comedy bits without profanity.  Part of your style reminds me of Bob Hope, truly one of the greatest comedians ever who could do a one hour show and make you laugh without cursing.   Bravo… Eric… Bravo!!

If anyone is looking for a "guaranteed home run" comedy show for their Corporation, Christmas Party, Wedding or Wake…  I suggest they call you.  They won't be embarrassed by foul language, they won't get in trouble with their bosses and they certainly won't be disappointed.  They will get the credit and compliments for picking you for their entertainment!!  Thank you again for a truly unique and very, very funny experience.  We will be calling you again.

Very truly yours,

Dye Hawley, Security Consultant, Allied Fire & Security

   We chose Eric Haines to perform at our Annual Christmas Party and were extremely impressed by his performance.  Our Christmas Party is attended by 75 employees and their spouses or guests.  We have employees ranging in age from 16-62 and good clean fun was had by all.  We highly recommend Eric for your next event. Please feel free to call me for more information.

 Sincerely, Nicole Shelton, Administrative Assistant – Personnel, Kingston Lumber Supply 


“I just wanted to send you a quick note to again thank you for such a wonderful performance the other night at our Christmas Employee Appreciation Dinner. Here it is a week later and my face is still sore from all the laughter. Each year we schedule entertainment without knowing what to expect. You surely came through for us this year. The entire staff loved it and they are still talking about it. Thank you again for making our event an evening to remember.” 

Sincerely,  Lowell Gordon, President, The Creative Office 


Thank you so much for acting as our Keynote Speaker for our fourth annual Transition Conference held on Thursday, March 29, 2007 at Grays Harbor College Aberdeen, Washington. The Transition students & staff plus the members of the Transition Council enjoyed your presentation very much. When I saw the students almost falling off their chairs with laughter I knew that you were a hit. The students and the teachers raved about your show for days after the conference! Your act was very appropriate for the students and the way you gave them encouragement as you did in your act was fitting. We look forward to seeing you again! Thank you! Sincerely, Patti Lignoski, DD Program Specialist, Grays Harbor County Public Health and Social Services Department & Representative of Grays Harbor Transition Council  


“Mr. Haines, You performed at a function in our town recently for a bunch of soldiers that just returned from Iraq,  To be totally honest with you I was fairly uncertain about having a comedian there because of all the mixed feelings, politics, and so on.  I would just like to let you know that it was by far the best function I have been to (except my wedding) .  I was not sure if I was capable of ever feeling happy and laughing so hard again as you made possible that evening.  The entire company was in agreement, that it was great.  I have received numerous comments on just how fun you made the event.  I would like to extent a great big thank you from us here at  HHC 116th Engineer  Battalion.     SFC  Robert Oliver 


“First I want to start off with...thank you...thank you...thank you.  Your show was wonderful and everyone had a great time.  Those soldiers (116th )  have had such a hard time adjusting and just being happy again.  My ultimate goal with having you there was to see those guys smile again and thanks to you, that happened.  I cannot thank you enough and you should take pride in knowing that you made a difference.”   Kathy Oliver  


Our organization couldn’t have been luckier than to have Eric Haines provide the entertainment at our Annual Conference. What a great show! I have been hiring entertainers for over 20 years and Eric is one of the best. He is not just a comedian, but a very talented and incredibly energetic performer. He sang, played the banjo, juggled, rode a unicycle and, to top it all off, he had everyone laughing hilariously as he showed what a skilled marionette artist he is with his monkey puppet! ...The audience especially loved seeing their colleagues become part of the show. Eric’s comedy was crazy, fun, clean and hysterical! I would recommend him to any group looking for an entertainer who will make everyone laugh.

Sincerely, Christina Bridston, Deputy Director, Washington Association of County Officials


At our Annual Banquet and Awards Gala, we were fortunate to have contracted Eric Haines as our entertainment. We requested a good, clean presentation for our 100 guests who represented most of our 250+ Chamber members. We were not disappointed. Eric’s comedic routine was a rollicking, side-splitting event that left participants exclaiming it to be the best annual banquet ever. “Fantastic time”, “my face hurt from laughing”, and other such comments were immediately heard after the event, and congratulatory calls to the Chamber office thanking us for such a great time continue to be received.

Eric was so easy to work with and very accommodating of our evening event schedule. He included several of our guests in his routine making it a much more interactive event enjoyed by all– including those who were “volunteered” up to the stage.

I would recommend Eric Haines without reservation. His professional, versatile and engaging style is a sure winner for your event. Sincerely, Rose Alsbury, Executive Director, La Pine Chamber of Commerce


“Thank you!” for the interaction, the creativity and the fun you brought to the WAC’s New Year’s Eve party. When speaking with you in advance, I was convinced you were exactly what I was looking for to add to our festive mix. But, not only did you meet, you exceeded that expectation, delivering more than anticipated. And, it brought “freshness” to our annual event. Eric, your use of costume changes, props and audience members kept things lively and new. Your comedy, juggling, stilt-walking and unicycle skills are a great variety of acts that kept the audience wondering what you would do (or wear) next. I’m sure we only tapped your repertoire of talents so I definitely plan to have you back at the WAC to shine in the limelight of more events. Thank you for your entertainment, and for being flexible, enthusiastic and easy to work with. I look forward to working with you again.

Robert Laurent, Senior Event Manager, Washington Athletic Club


These are comments we’ve received about our Christmas party which your routine had a big hand in.  “Fabulous and great, wonderful time! All good comments received here!!! Great work!”   (from our Executive Vice President)

 “The Christmas party was a great time.  Good food, good entertainment…”  “BEST ONE I HAVE BEEN TO!!! AWSOME!!”  “My sides were hurting from laughing!!”  “Where did you find him at!?”  “He was hysterical”  Merry Christmas Eric, and Thanks!  

Ryan Ratchford, Business Development , Apollo 


Our group of licensed foster parents was fortunate to have Eric Haines perform for us at our annual recognition banquet. Eric engaged the audience from the moment he was introduced until he closed his act.  Using humor, juggling, puppetry and song he furnished many laughs and still conveyed an inspirational message.   He was able to tailor his material to the audience, hold their attention and leave them feeling good.  He will be a hard act to follow when we book the entertainment next year.

Bruce Thomas, Area Administrator, Children's Services 

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